Sex in your 50’s

Sexual healing

  • by Lerato Tshabalala
  • Aug 7, 2017
  • 1838
  • Lifestyle

When most of us think of sexy women in their 50s, we imagine 59-year-old Angela Bassett wearing a cropped top, showing her rock hard abs on the red carpet like she did last year, or Vanessa Williams still looking like she could win a beauty pageant today – and we can’t forget 52-year-old Viola Davis’s toned arms. But the truth is, for most of us, the reality of being 50 is closer to American talk show host, Wendy Williams, without her wig on, wearing tracksuit pants and no make-up… Not very sexy.

And yes, it’s true that your knees may start creaking and hair will grow any and everywhere except on your head, but it’s not all bad news. Your 50s promise more intense orgasms. That’s right – you’re about to reach new levels of pleasure. Here’s the reality of what sex in your 50s will most likely be like…

THE KIDS ARE GONE!

There was a time when turning 50 was only associated with uncomfortable menopause for women and erectile dysfunction in men. But you don’t have to worry, sex in your 50's promises to be as explosive as it was vigorous in your 20's.

After three decades of only half-enjoying sex because you’ve had to be constantly on high alert, listening for footsteps headed towards your bedroom, now you have the entire house all to yourself. A survey conducted by the University of Manchester and the NatCen (Britain's leading independent social research organisation) found that 54% of men and 31% of women in their 50s admitted that they were still quite sexually active well into their 50s. So stop worrying about losing your mojo half way into your life, you’ll still be getting it on a regular basis! 

THE ULTIMATE CLIMAX

This one is for the ladies… We won’t feed you manure – hot flushes are not a myth; heat will emanate from places that are not your nether regions. That said, you can look forward to better and more frequent orgasms. Yes, you read right: more frequent orgasms. Multiple orgasms will no longer be the stuff of fantastical RnB love songs. Not only will they be more frequent, but climaxing is also far more intense after menopause. Bet now you can’t wait for your 50th birthday, huh?   

YOU’RE HAPPIER

The American Association for Retired People (AARP), a non-profit organisation that assists people over 50 and older to “improve their lives”, conducted a survey that found that happiness in your 50s increases significantly. After having spent years trying to balance work, life and family responsibilities, most notably paying off debt and worrying about having money for a rainy day, the 50s are about reaping what you’ve sewn. You’re also more confident, you’ve come to accept your body and you finally have time to sleep in and make love until midday – the way you used to back in the day. Who wouldn’t be happier with more money, less responsibility and a lot more time!  

FROM HARD TO HEART

It is reported that 26% of men first experience erectile dysfunction in their 50s. Yet struggling to maintain an erection is not the only thing men over 50 have to worry about – diabetes and heart problems become a real threat, too. However, just by staying active and changing your diet you can turn things around. A heavily Mediterranean diet – rich in fish, olives, vegetables and nuts – is the best way to get your heart strong again.

MORE THAN JUST LOOKS

If you’re one of those people who smokes and likes sitting in the sun without putting on sunscreen, then you’re inviting fine lines and more wrinkles. Age spots have been known to start in your 50s, but dermatologists can remove them through freezing, snipping and cauterising (burning part of a body to remove or close off a part of it). But if you take care of yourself now – start buying and wearing sunscreen – then you can work with your body to keep yourself looking good. It’s not about plastic surgery, but about taking care of yourself so you don’t have to face the possibility of a scalpel to the skin.

IT’S DRY, BUT YOU CAN FIX IT

As a woman’s oestrogen levels begin to drop in middle age, so will the reality of vaginal dryness become increasingly pronounced. Vaginal dryness unfortunately means that many women in their 50s end up experiencing a lot of pain during sex. You don’t have to fret, though, there are artificial lubricants (you can choose from either water- or silicone-based lubrication) that you can use to help nature along. These can be reactivated with some saliva, so buy flavoured ones and encourage him to go down on you should you get dry. 

MIND OVER MATTER

Ever have those moments when you walk purposely into the next room, but once there not remember why you’re there in the first place? It happens to most busy adults, but being middle aged means that nerve impulses between brain cells start to slow down slightly. The result is that you might find yourself dealing with memory loss at 50. The good news is that brain cells do grow well into your 50s, so you can still learn new tricks. Technology has been known to save a sex life or two. Ready to sext anyone?

PREGNANCY NO MORE

After spending 40 years on their period, menopausal women no longer have to budget for sanitary towels and men don’t have to worry about impregnating anyone. But the real plus when it comes to menopausal women is that pregnancy becomes a thing of the past (save for those one-in-a-million cases like Janet Jackson, who was pregnant at 50). If you’re single and have a box of condoms, you can mingle without worrying about making someone an unprepared, unhappy daddy. And if you’re married, you and your beloved can make up for the years spent doing the school run, attending kids’ parties and sleeping in unflattering pyjamas by being adventurous again. So, put on some Marvin Gaye and get it on…